Six Traits of Highly Resilient K-12 Education Leaders

We won’t dance around it: leading a school or district is stressful work in both the macro and micro view.

Setting students up for success, creating an environment where all students excel and thrive—that’s demanding all on its own. But there’s also the everyday stress to consider, the challenges and setbacks we didn’t anticipate.

Whether we’re dealing with a large-scale change or simply absorbing the day-to-day experiences and exasperations of students, staff, parents, and community members, there’s an important characteristic that gives great education leaders the ability to lead through all of it: resilience.

Resilience is the quality that enables you to withstand adversity and grow in spite of downturns or setbacks.

‍Resilience—the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences—is about having the mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility to adjust to both our internal and external demands. It’s the quality that enables you to withstand adversity and grow in spite of downturns or setbacks.

At a time where you might find your resilience levels a little lower than you’d like, let’s explore how resilient leaders build capacity to not only “bounce back,” but bounce forward:

They shift how they react to challenges

In their book Resilient School Leaders, Jerry Patterson and Paul Kelleher talk about a stimulus-response theory they call “S → I → R.” Here’s how it works:

When the stimulus (S) or adversity occurs unexpectedly, our next move as humans is to interpret (I) the adversity—drawing on the information about what led to the adversity, what/who caused the adversity, the risks the adversity poses, and what the future holds as a result. Based on our interpretation of these variables, we then choose to respond (R).  

Applying this equation to the concept of resiliency, we choose how we interpret the challenges or changes that happen to us and around us. Our interpretation acts as a filter of sorts—one that Patterson and Kelleher say is “perhaps the single most powerful factor predicting your resilience level.” They go on to say that there are four ways to interpret adversity: by being an unrealistic pessimist, a realistic pessimist, a realistic optimist, or an unrealistic optimist.

• Unrealistic pessimists have no confidence that anything positive will come out of the situation.
• Realistic pessimists don’t think anything they do in a particular situation will make much of a difference.
• Realistic optimists seek to understand what’s really going on—and believe they can make a difference despite any constraints imposed by reality.
• Unrealistic optimists make judgments quickly and underestimate the risks of adversity. 

You might not have much control about the nature and intensity of adversity that you confront, but you do have a choice in how you interpret it. 

For example, let’s say you’re driving out of a parking lot and another car rear-ends you. An unrealistic pessimist might think, “Oh, they did that on purpose, my car is totaled, and now they’re going to drive away and leave me to deal with this on my own.” On the other hand, an unrealistic optimist might think, “Because they hit my car, they’re going to help me push my car two miles to the nearest mechanic and pay for everything.” Whenever possible, you want to shift to realistic optimism—the person who thinks, “That car just ran into me, and they might not have seen me. We’ll exchange information, and I’ll report it to my insurance. It’s an inconvenience, but it’s one I can handle.”

While you might not have much control about the nature and intensity of adversity that you confront, it’s a good reminder that you do have a choice in how you interpret it. 

They remember their past experiences with adversity

Not only can we “do hard things,” as author Glennon Doyle says, we often forget that we’ve done hard things before—many times. Not only have we gotten through them, but we’ve learned lessons from the changes we’ve navigated.

As resilient school leaders continue to encounter challenges in their role, they continue to reflect on those lessons. They ask themselves: 

• How did I feel the last time I encountered a similar situation? 
• What resources or information did I rely on as I was working through the challenge?
• And, what did I learn about myself—and my leadership—as I was navigating through?

When we’re in the thick of a tough time, it can be hard to see the resiliency we’re exhibiting in that moment. Going back to those situations and taking stock of what you learned will help you remember that you have more in your resilience bank than you might think.

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They lead alongside their teams

Distributed leadership, an approach to school leadership where decision-making is shared between the principal and the school community, brings more perspectives and voices to the table.

Former principal and New Leaders Senior Director, Program Implementation Maria Esponda-Medina says that when she took on the principal role in the Bronx, she brought all her teachers and families together to re-envision the school as a group. “We created a plan, worked together as a collective community to make decisions, and gave teachers a chance to lead, too. It was distributed leadership in action,” she says.

Resilient leaders create avenues for teachers, staff, parents, and even students to shape school-wide decisions and be part of the solution. As an added bonus, this fosters a sense of belonging and community within the school—and by extension, creates resilience. 

Resiliency also means recognizing that our leadership is always a work in progress—and that we can learn so much from the people around us. 

They display “confident vulnerability”

The truth about resilient leadership is that we need to feel confident enough to embrace new ways of learning, but we also can’t be effective learners if we believe that we know everything, all the time—or, that we have to know everything. This idea of “confident vulnerability” is critical for acknowledging that we have room to improve as both educators and leaders. 

When leading her school through the first year of the pandemic, New Leaders alum Clariza Dominicci started to get comfortable with a statement that can be tough for school (and district) leaders to say out loud: I don’t know. “As a leader, you want to tell your people: ‘Here is the plan. It’s a really nice plan. And don’t worry, it’s all going to go like this.’ Only the pandemic isn’t going by a plan.” She continues by saying that she’d often have one plan for a meeting and would quickly pivot as she was talking to her teachers and staff. “I’d put my ego aside and say, ‘You tell us. We don’t know. And we’re okay with that.’ It’s been really powerful to lean into that vulnerability.”

Sometimes, resiliency means recognizing that our leadership is always a work in progress—and that we can learn so much from the people around us. 

They cultivate a culture of resilience within their schools and districts

The pandemic was an example of how resilient entire school communities can be—especially our students. During that time, many of them navigated the same challenges as school leaders and teachers, including the quick shift to remote learning and the concerns about the health and well-being of their friends and family.

While large-scale changes and disruptions to our lives are certainly reasons to build our resilience, the best leaders create a school culture where “failures, setbacks, and disappointment are an expected and honored part of learning,” according to developmental psychologist and author Marilyn Price-Mitchell.

With your teachers, consider ways that you can bring this resilient culture to life:

• Are there people in your community who have a story of personal success after a setback? Invite them to speak at your next school assembly. 
• Are there places within the school that showcase student achievements? There could be a similar space where students brag about their biggest mistakes and what they learned. 
• Are there ways to bring teachers and staff together more frequently with their peers, both inside and outside of their school, to share experiences and learn from one another?

As we mentioned above, resilient leaders show vulnerability and honesty—so don’t be afraid to speak out about your missteps as well. 

And, resilient leaders uncover the joy in learning

Clariza Dominicci reminds us of perhaps the most important quality of resilient leadership: prioritizing joy in our schools and classrooms. Change and challenge is constant in K-12 education, but as Dominicci says, we need to find and celebrate the joy in our work. “It’s what makes us human,” she says. “And even more resilient. We are all in this together.” 

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